As I stood on top of the Eiffel Tower looking over at the unbelievably beautiful landscape of the city Paris, the sunlight hugged me with warmth and the breeze tickled comfortably in my face. Beside me there was a baby cuddling up in her mother’s arms, and behind me a little boy relishing his lollipop while holding hands with his mommy and daddy. Happy families were taking pictures of the gorgeous view while they glued their bodies to each other with huge smiles and cheerful laughter. I took out my journal in my bag and wrote my last entry: Mom, Dad, Brothers, I miss you.
Thinking back, I thought going to France and Italy would be a new experience for me because I have never travelled without my family before. I did not expect much difference except that mom and dad would not be constantly asking me to pose for pictures and that mom would not be advising me on bringing the unnecessary things, such as fifteen pairs of socks, medicines for all types of incidents, and an iron for my jacket. I would be fine, I thought to myself. An exciting adventure was yet to begin.
Nevertheless, what I anticipated before the trip was different from how I actually felt. I knew I would miss my family, but was only a secondary thought. I was more excited about going to Europe and seeing all the gorgeous views and enjoying the delicious food. I could not wait to stand on top of the Eiffel Tower because it was a dream of mine since I was a child. Yet when my dream had finally come true, a chill of loneliness rushed over me. This time I could not feel the warm hands, hear the soothing voices and be assured of the support from the most familiar people in my life. I suddenly felt a burden within me because I had to be much more responsible and extremely careful of my actions. There was no one to provide me with coats when it was cold, no one to buy me food when I was hungry, and surprisingly, no one to take endless pictures of me at the most opportune and desired times. I caught a cold because I did not wear proper clothing and I missed the snacks that reminded me of home. When I was getting on a train from Nimes to Paris, I had trouble lifting my suitcase and I was almost at risk of being left behind. This was an obstacle I had never encountered because my dad or brothers would always carry the suitcases for me and my mom. It was then that I realized what I truly fear is to be away from my family because they are always the ones to provide me with comfort and make me feel more relaxed so I can enjoy the experience of being abroad. Without my family, I felt insecure and horrified, because everything suddenly seemed to be so unpredictable.
The fear of being away from my family was something that I never contemplated. Always having travelled with my family, I did not realize that going on a trip alone would be more difficult and that I would miss them so much. This trip definitely helped me develop more independence and responsibility, but I also found out a deeper significance in my life: the value of family. I did not understand how much my family has contributed when they went out of their way to do the favours for me because their efforts seemed perfectly natural to me before. Nonetheless, after this trip I discovered the people who brought me into this world and gave me confidence to conquer my fear are my family. I realized how much they really mean to me and how fortunate I was to be able to travel with them. As I gazed over at the delighted families on the top of the Eiffel Tower, I wished I could share the fabulous scenery with my mom, dad, and brothers at this moment.
Hi Selina,
ReplyDeleteWow! What a great post, Selina! It really evoked the feelings I have towards my family and made me reminisce about all my joyous memories with them. Family members are always the ones to offer unflinching support and they are also the ones who will help you to surmount challenges and accomplish your dreams. I can really relate to how you feel about your family as I too have a close filial relationship. When I was a child, my family was impoverished as my parents had just immigrated to Canada and my dad did not have a stable job. Yet, whenever I wanted a toy, my devoted and self-sacrificial parents would always scrimp and save to try and buy me the toy that I wanted. In addition, family members also offer moral support. For example, whenever I have a basketball game or a swim meet, my whole family - sister, father, and mother - would give me their wholehearted support by showing up to all my activities. If I won, they would celebrate and cheer; if I lost, they would stay by my side and try to buoy my spirits. Family members are simply irreplaceable. Additionally, another point that I liked in your post was when you said that you didn't miss your family until later on. In my opinion, the adolescents of this generation may have been a bit spoiled as we are accustomed to our parents doting on us and helping us with everything. Our parents often help us with tasks that we could easily accomplish ourselves: doing laundry, folding clothes, and making the bed. We often take them for granted even though we should really appreciate their devotion and their altruistic acts.
Hey Selina,
ReplyDeleteI cannot agree more on the importance of family in our daily lives. No matter where we are - or when, it is our family, especially our parents, who would always be present to worry for us, to protect us and to supply us with all the love we need.
Besides camping, I remember travelling far away from home by myself once, to Toronto, where a few relatives took care of me for a week. They provided me with genuine hospitality, yet, this feeling was different from home. A part of me seemed to be missing. Having been shadowed by the sensations of loneliness and anxiety, it was almost as if I didn’t belong. I missed my mother’s careful advice and her stern looks with worry written over her face. I wanted to hear my father’s words of reassurance and the kindness in his soft chuckles.
Your post allowed me to reflect on my actions; I took my parents for granted for much too long. I had failed to acknowledge the blessings given to me and had failed to remember that these blessings do not necessary last forever. This reminds me to become more appreciative of the sacrifices my family has given me and to fully return the love they have shown me. From now on, I should be the one to take on the role and responsibility of loving and protecting them.
Thank you for your post; it was beautiful!
Selina, your themes of loneliness and family really brought back my own memories of the France-Italy trip; I feel waves of nostalgia as I reminisce of the last few weeks.
ReplyDeleteThe theme of family is truly relatable on many levels. During the France-Italy trip, I honestly did not miss my parents very much but I most certainly missed them when we arrived in Vancouver.
While my friends that surrounded me nonchalantly discussed their plans with their family, I kept to myself and thought about my parents who were (and still are!) in Shanghai. Even during the flight, I felt as if everyone except for me had something to look forward to while I was left to contemplate what I was going to cook for dinner that night.
Whenever I feel lonely, I always think of Michael Buble's "Home". I haven't a clue why these lyrics speak to me so eloquently but when I hear "may be surrounded by a million people I-- still feel alone, I just wanna go home" in my head, I find much solace and comfort.
Hopefully you had your own method of coping with homesickness while you were on the trip! I have this image of your eyes lighting up while you cradled the hotel phone to your ears, chatting eagerly with your brother or parents.
Great post, Selina! :)
SELINA
ReplyDeleteThis blog entry is by far the ONLY post I can really relate to out of the dozens our class has written since the beginning of the school year!
I was extremely homesick like you were (and I'm sure we both have noticed each other being homesick since we shared the same hotel room on many occasions!) and I felt extremely sympathetic for you when you cried on the phone with your parents.
:(
But quoting you, this trip has definitely helped us become more independent in many different ways. For example, I never really had to carry my suitcase up four flights of stairs. For the first time, I had to cram my belongings into a suitcase that never seemed to big enough. I also had to take the weight of my suitcase into consideration as well.
(Must I mention that it took the two of us to get your suitcase onto the TGV train finally!)
I was on the top of the Eiffel Tower when you were, and it felt like a typical Vancouver morning in December. My ears were yearning for a pair of earmuffs and my fingers swelled up as I tried to snap a picture with my camera. However, unlike you, when I looked at the spectacular view of Paris from a great height, I did not wish my parents were there. I am not heartless of course! The reason is that I believe that one day I shall return there with my parents and my loved ones. I know for a fact that I will return to Paris again during my life, whether it be long or short.
Lastly, I am so glad to have gone to France and Italy with you! It surely was a valuable lesson for us; the trip ultimately increased our knowledge and helped us gain independence.
I'm sure that we both cherished our time with our parents even more upon returning to Canada. :)